this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
