I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
