I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
