Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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