People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
