And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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