I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
