yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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