drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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