So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
