I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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