youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
