You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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