Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My vagina just clenched in fear
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
