it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
