Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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