we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
