i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
