Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
