I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
