READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
