I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
