So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's official drugs can't kill me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
