My brain says no but my pants say off.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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