If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
