We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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