they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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