ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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