Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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