He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
