I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
