I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
