when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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