i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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