She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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