I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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