If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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