her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
