you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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