Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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