You really coming over, don't trick.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize