brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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