So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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