weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
