it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
