i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
