Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
