it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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