I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
