I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
