Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
