mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
