I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
